[FAMILY BUILDING MONTH: ON ABORTION]

Balikan natin ang kwento ni Inday…

Papaano kung nalaman ni Inday na buntis sya sa kanyang ika-pitong anak. Tricycle driver ang trabaho ng kanyang asawa na swerte nang kumita ng P200 sa isang araw. Ang bunsong anak nya, wala pang isang taong gulang. Payat at panay may sakit ang kanyang mga anak dahil kulang ang kanilang pera para mabuhay ng matiwasay sa araw-araw…

Pumasok sa isip ni Inday, “Uminom kaya ako ng pampalaglag? Di na namin kaya ng isa pang anak?” “Kawawa naman ang batang ito kung bubuhayin ko pa dahil baka mamatay din lang ito dahil wala akong mapapakain.” “Di pa naman buhay ito, dugo pa lang ito, sana gumana ang pampalaglag.” “O kaya, uminom na lang kaya ako ng gin hanggang duguin ako?” “Ayoko na nitong batang ito, lalo lang nyang pahihirapan ang buhay ko!!!!”
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Sa kabilang banda, sa kwento ni Beverly…. 7 taon na silang kasal ng kanyang asawa. Hindi pa sila nabibiyayaan ng anak. Isang araw, pagkatapos mag home pregnancy test, tuwang-tuwang sinabi ni Bev sa asawang si David na sya ay nagdadalangtao.

Nang Sabadong iyon, pumunta sila sa doktor. Matapos ng napakaraming mga test, sinabi ng doktor na kung itutuloy ni Bev ang kanyang pagbubuntis, maaaring maging mapanganib sa kanyang kalusugan at sa kanyang buhay. Ganun kaaga, pinapapili na ng doktor si David kung ano ang mas gusto niya, ang magkaroon ng anak o magkaroon ng asawa. Hindi maaaring magkaroon pareho.
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Ikatlong kwento… si Mylene ay 40 anyos na. Tuwang-tuwang nalaman na sya ay buntis. Ngunit pagkatapos ng isang test sa ospital, nalaman na may down-syndrome ang kanyang anak. Sa bansa kung nasaan si Mylene, pinapayagan ang pag-abort sa sanggol kapag nalaman na ito ay may diperensya.

Ipagpatuloy kaya ni Mylene ang pagbubuntis.
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Huling kwento. Si Kimberly, 14 na taong gulang. Nadiskubre ng kanyang Tiya Rosing na sya ay buntis at ang ama ng kanyang pinagbubuntis ay ang kanilang kapitbahay na si Tomas. Isang gabi, pagkauwi ni Tomas mula sa maghapong inuman, nakita nya si Kimberly at kanya itong hinalay. Ngayon hindi alam ng bata kung ano ang kanyang gagawin.

Papaanong mag-aalaga ng sanggol si Kim, kung sya mismo at isang bata pa rin? Walang amang mag-aaruga sa bata, at ang ina at kailangan pa rin ng pag-aaruga.
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Iba’t ibang eksena ang hinaharap ng mga taong ito. Ngunit may isang tanong na lumilingid… itutuloy ba ang pagbubuntis na ito o dapat nang ipa-abort? Sa tingin ninyo, mga misis…..

live..learn…life

God given us the ability to create another life for us to nurture and to love, to take care and to own. He has given us His mighty blessing to us woman, the blessing of carrying a child in our womb for nine months. It really is a blessing is it. But why there are people who do abortion if having a baby is a great blessing. From above, there are lots of reasons given why some choose abortion rather than keeping it. I know Im not in the position to judge people who resort to abortion but I find it a selfish act, a disrespectful means in handling this kind of situation.

In what ever case it may be, abortion is immoral. The removal of an unborn child is considered a crime. A removal is only allowed if say an unborn child is found lifeless or don’t have the ability to survive in the womb. In this case, it is dangerous to the mother.

I remember a story from a magazine that I read last January, after knowing that her baby is lifeless, she has to remove the 7 month old in her tummy through normal delivery. Imagine, she gave birth to a lifeless baby. Very painful but she can’t do anything about it. It’s God will. From this example, we can say that this act is allowed because the baby is already lifeless and it will be bad for the mom to keep the baby.

Now for those, who wanted to have an abortion because of selfish reasons, I pity them. They are playing with life. Life is not a toy nor a thing where we can throw when we don’t want it.

And for those who valued each life that they create, bless you for you know what is right and what is good.

HOW DARE YOU PLAY GOD

A few weeks ago, I found myself watching an investigative report on back-alley abortions in the Philippines. The account included interviews with women contemplating abortion and some others who have already undergone it. The report went as far as documenting an actual abortion (via a hidden camera). No faces were revealed. The footage only showed flashpans across a dimly lit room, and quick glimpses of pursed lips, clenched fists and silhouettes. Low, muffled conversations and the pitter-patter of metal instrumentation echoed from the TV screen. It was but apt to have such imagery for a cold and evil act…MURDER.

I cried after watching that episode. As a mother, I simply could not accept how some women and fellow moms (if they even deserve to be called as such!) could decide to do such a thing. They surely have their reasons and are probably working towards a particular end–peace of mind, emotional and even financial stability. But does this end justify the means? I DON’T THINK SO.

I watched my son sleep that night, picked him up from his crib and hugged him dearly. It was by God’s grace that my husband and I were blessed with such a beautiful human being. And it would be the same grace that would determine the time of our offspring in this world.

Life is only our BORROWED TIME from the Creator. It is not ours to take away.

From the (Wannabe) Feminist Point of View

From my previous posts, you must know that I love God. However, I feel that there is a side to this issue that needs to be presented. Besides, my fellow wives will have probably touched on the morality of Abortion on their individual entries. This time, allow me to present my views from a social perspective.

At the outset, let me point out that I humbly think of myself as a feminist-in-the-making. I think I still have a long way to go before I finally achieve this feat, which is why I try to live my life based on the tenets of feminism one day at a time.

I believe in the idea of empowering a woman to make free and enabled choices for her own mind, soul, and body. When used properly and purely, it is a power that will eventually lead to a non-violent social order that practices reciprocal egalitarianism, in which every individual is respected regardless of gender and age, and all living things, including natural creatures like plants and animals, are never exploited.

The discourses on Feminism are voluminous and complex, which is why I will not bring all of it up here (besides, this is not the venue, and that is not the topic, hehe!), except to say this: I believe that every woman should have the freedom to have a voice to make a choice.

Having said that, here is what I have to say on the issue of Abortion.

By nature, women are pro-creators. Herstorically, women have always been creators of culture, though historically (and not surprisingly), this contribution has been glaringly absent. Instinctively, we know when a life blossoms in our womb and, as mothers, our primal response is to protect that life. However, the current (and generally) male-dominated/defined society has infused so many factors that make pro-creation a matter of decision rather than a matter of instinct.

In Inday’s case, it is apparent that her husband has truly dominated her body in order to prove his machismo. Being “only a woman”, society has led Inday to believe that her only role is to make babies, that having children is more of a personal burden than a social responsibility, to be subservient to the husband at all costs, and that she has no voice in the matter of decision-making and family building. On the other hand, Kimberly’s case generally describes how male-aggression through sexual-exploitation greatly undermines the dignity of a woman/child. It is demeaning, it is senseless, it is egotistical.

And so, in these cases, what is the option that society offers both Inday and Kimberly: Abortion, the anti-feminist idea of disrespecting the life of the unborn. But, do they really have a choice? Of course. And it’s not abortion (as some liberals would actually think). Their choice is to give this child a chance to live, to love it, to respect it, and for Inday to finally have the voice to say NO to her husband, and for Kimberly to understand that it was not her fault.

In Mylene’s case, let me just say that the stigma of disability should never be a factor in determining how much respect a human being should deserve. Quality of life is self-earned, it is not something we are (or not) born with.

And as for Beverly, clearly, the central premise of respect for life naturally applies to her own. If there is one instinct inherent in humans that naturally supercedes pro-creation, it is self-preservation. On a sinking ship, we first save ourselves in order to be able to save others. Heroism is a product of mythology. Self-preservation is a product of reality.

And so you might ask, if I were a pregnant celebrity and the only way I could survive in showbusiness is to abort my child, would I do it? Folded and hung, you know my answer.

As a feminist-in-progress and a mother, I definitely would choose life. Abortion is a coward’s way out, and I am not afraid to make the choices that I will never regret.

Give Beethoven a Chance

I think it’s easy for me to say this, I wouldn’t consider abortion as an option unless it’s a life and death situation. Like an ectopic pregnancy or if having the baby would mean that BOTH of us will be in danger. I wouldn’t want to submit my husband with the pain of losing a child and then losing me.

Anyway, I think if a baby is unwanted, the mother can always go through having the baby adopted. I know that the institutions here in the Philippines are not the best to leave the baby behind but it is much better to give the child a chance to live life. Abortion shouldn’t be used as a means to better one’s life. Sometimes, God gives us crosses to bear, but remember that He doesn’t give them unless we know that we can handle it.

I remember one of the emails that I read and it just asks the question, If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? If you said yes, Congratulations, you just killed Beethoven.

Thou Shall Not Kill

I will never ever support nor promote abortion or any activities related to it… it’s a crime for me. It’s even worse than the killing crimes that we often get from the news, since an innocent life is being attacked here.

The 5th of the 10 commandments simply states: “Thou Shall not Kill”. This commandment actually forbids direct attacks on human life and physical integrity, and thus protects God’s gift of life and promotes practical care and respect for the life and dignity of all persons.

Abortion is one of the grave offenses against the 5th commandment. Because human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. So once the sperm and the egg meet, another “life” has been formed. It’s not just “blood” as the others justifying abortion says, it’s… rather… he or she, is already a human being. So for all the cases mentioned above, abortion is still a no-no for me. Because there are lots of options (as mentioned by the other wifeys here) like adoption. As i’ve said before, there’s always a way. And again, God didn’t put them in that situation, if they will not be able to handle it… yes, even Kimberly. Again, all we need is TRUST, trust in the Lord. And much much grace that we can ask from Him.

As for ectopic pregnancy, abortion is still not an option and still considered as immoral. However, there’s this principle of “double effect” or the “indirect voluntary” that we can follow. I’ll just quote a portion of what was written in this link (which gives a brief but well explained answer to the question “Does the Church approve of surgery for an ectopic pregnancy?”), word per word describing what this is (this is not plagiarizing ha ):

“Surgery to remove a mass of tissue like tumor (including the placenta) which has fixed itself in the wrong place (the fallopian tube instead of the uterus)is moral, provided that the bad effect, in this case the death of the unborn child is not directly willed in itself, and that there is a proportionate reason (such as saving the life of the mother), and that the good effect, namely saving the mother’s life does not directly come from the bad effect, the death of the child”

If this is clear, then we’re done. More of double effect and salpingectomy in this link (from Catholic.net, in case you want to read more about it).

i hope and pray that there wouldn’t be any parent whose thoughts will always be filled with “babae kaya sana sya o junior?”, “magiging presidente kaya sya ng Pilipinas kung nabuhay sya”, “artistahin sana ang anak ko”, “baka mala-Beethoven sna yung anak ko”, “masaya kaya kmi kung ksama namin sya ngayon”, etc etc, after considering and going through abortion. Let’s all pray for the souls of these children and most specially for those considering abortion and those participating or recommending it (lalo na yung mga civic leaders promoting it and even pursuing house bills for it to be legalized, nyay!)

Thy Will Be Done!

After marriage, I enjoyed freedom in most aspects in life. I thought of not having a baby until our first year anniversary. But Jing did not want to meddle with nature. He wanted a baby right away! After 3 months of waiting, we finally got a double line!

But no, I was diagnosed to have a blighted ovum. The fertilized egg did not produce an embryo. We were devastated. I was suddenly lost.

Fortunately, we were blessed with another pregnancy. It was only 3 months after my D&C when we got a double line! And the rest is the reason for my weight gain…

Basing on my experience, I’d say, I am against abortion. I feel lucky to have married a God-fearing person. I am convinced that cutting the breath of his own flesh would be the last thing that he would want to do.

The only thing that would make me or him consider abortion is when I’m placed in the position of Beverly. It would be a very tough decision but we would most likely be inclined in choosing MY life over the one in my womb. Simply put, not only my husband would be needing my tender loving care but also the baby in my tummy would soon be looking for maternal love, which only me can sincerely give. We would know that God would want us to save my life because He sent the message to the doctor who would have given the diagnosis. It’s already a sign by itself.

Whether you like it or not, It’s still a baby

Whoever among the above mentioned wives or ladies encounter such problems doenst have the right to terminate the fetus inside her. God destined it to be, if the child inside her turns out to be sick or the mother will have problems, GOD has planned for it. Maybe all these is a test, a test of faith, hope or miracles.

Let it be an opportunity for change of heart and mind. Trusting in the One who made it all.

abortion? it depends….

I dont agree with Inday’s option of aborting the baby. I know its easy for me to say this because I am not in her shoes, but killing an unborn child because it will make life more difficult for her is simply wrong for me. Adoption is always an option. That’s the best advice I can give her. If she’s not willing to raise the child then give it to someone else who would be willing to raise it like their own. Perhaps, giving that child the best chance of having a normal healthy life. & next time, please, if she can’t say no to her husband, or if they both cannot control their sexual urges, then go to the nearest barangay health center & ask for a suitable contraceptive (be it condoms, ligation, vasectomy, pills, etc). I’d rather have her use a contraceptive than go to an abortionist.

In Beverly’s case, I wouldn’t know what advice to give her. If I am the mother, I would of course choose the life of the baby. But its not my sole decision to make. I have to consider my husband as well. Would he rather have a family without a mother or a family without a child? Knowing my husband, he’d probably (hopefully – hahahaha) choose me. In this case, then abortion would be the best way to go. & no, I don’t think its wrong in this case. Another thing, we could always adopt.

If I were in Mylene’s case, I wouldn’t know what to do. This would entail endless soul searching. I’ll think about it more… along with a serious discussion with the hubby.

For Kimberly’s case, I would also suggest that she opt for adoption. But, I wouldn’t blame her if she chooses to abort the baby. She is so young. & something this tragic (rape) would probably scar her for the rest of her life. Taking care of a baby will definitely not help. Unless she’s mature enough to accept the responsibilities… Oh by the way, I would definitely go to one of those vigilante group & have Tomas killed…

Experience is the Best Teacher… not at all times…

Dialog naming magkapatid nung high school pa lang ako (at grade school pa lang sya)

me: paano mo malalaman na mali kung d mo mararanasan

sis: e pano kung alam mo na ngang mali… gagawin mo pa din?

me: depende kung walang masasagasaang ibang tao…

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Ganun ako… minsan kahit alam kong mali, ginagawa ko… AS LONG AS… wala akong nasasagasaang (nasasaktang) ibang tao…

may mga bagay bagay na ginagawa ng tao ang alam naman nilang masama pero sige pa din… halimbawa…

- smoking: bad for the health pero minsan sa iba nakaka relax ito… been there done that…

- drinking: bad for the health pero ewan ko ba kung anong kaligayahan naidudulot nito sa mga lasenggo… been there… occasionally…

- sex before marriage: bad pero masarap habang ginagawa… pag may nabuo pa… problema sa umpisa… pero hindi ibig sabihin nito e hindi dapat ipag patuloy ang pagbubuntis…

abortion is not a solution… ONLY IF siguro risky for both mom and the baby… like ectopic pregnancy… ibang usapan na yun… pero kung dahil lang sa sakim na rason kaya ito gagawin… it’s a no-no! Wether madami ka ng anak at d mo na kayang pangalagaan lahat o sabihing hindi ka handa… panindigan mo… ginawa mo e…

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me: sa ano mang bagay na gagawin mo, masama o mabuti… isipin mo lagi na kung ang gagawin mo ba e makakasakit ng ibang tao (physically, emotionally…) at higit sa lahat… panindigan mo ang consequences and wag pagsisisihan kasi ikaw mismo ang nagdesisyon gawin yun… (kung pinilit ka… bakit ka nagpa pilit…) Learn from the experience…